The Two Lives of Lydia Bird by Josie Silver

 

Well this was a hell of an emotional roller coaster! I spent much of the book confused and then BAM 💥 it clicked and it brought me to tears… anyone that has suffered a loss can relate. The ending is .... fabulous ❤️

This is a very emotionally charged  read for me. Like I said, most of the book had me confused and a bit frustrated until I figured out what was really going on with Lydia Bird. Now nobody truly knows what is going on with a character, except the author themselves. So we all have a personal perception of what we think unless it is completely spelled out for us. So this was my take on Lydia and it crushed me and then the ending made me smile.

So odd to struggle a bit throughout a book and then have it be a 5 star read. I know, it seems weird but hear me out. The book is split into chapters of "asleep" and "awake." I loved the awake chapters but the asleep chapters...well I was scratching my head going umm ok. Until I figured out what the sleep chapters really meant- or so I think.

 Lydia would fall asleep and dream her fiancee Freddie was alive and well and they were living their life. In the awake chapters, Lydia would have to face the grim reality - that Freddie died suddenly while on the way to her birthday party. There is no Freddie and Lydia.

As many of us, I have faced a loss of a loved one that tore my heart out, destroyed my life. Everyone deals with grief differently. For me, sleep was like an escape from the terrible reality. Then there is the moment when you wake in the morning and you lie in bed for a minute and you are groggy still. You spend every single moment thinking of your loved one and this is the one moment in the day that your mind doesn't remember that they are gone...and then it does and you think "oh yeah." I feel like Lydia's sleep chapters were the same. It was her way of dealing with her grief. As time goes on she slowly needs this escape less and less.

Realizing this and then the ending was so heart touching that it quickly got bumped up to a 5 star read for me.  Lydia Bird I loved you even though your story stirred up way too many feels. A beautiful story and I loved, loved, loved this ending.